What hurts the most
by amiga-girl
Summary: Kakashi reminisces some memories at the KIA memorial. Memories of his father…


Hello, everyone^^

Welcome to my first fanfiction on . I've written this story years ago in English in order to keep my class mates from reading over my shoulder… Even though I've scribbled it down during my English and Social Studies lessons. XD

Since my writing style was kinda poor back then, I decided to redo it. Let me know what you think about it and please keep in mind that I'm not English. :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't not own anything! All characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi after all. :)

**Summary: **Kakashi reminisces some memories at the KIA memorial. Memories of his father…

**Note:** I wrote this story down long before the Pein vs. Konoha Arc was published. The song "What hurts the most" is not connected to this fanfiction.

What hurts the most

The wind whistled softly. Softly, as if the wind did not dare to cover the audible steps of the approaching figure.

'_Tap. Tap.'_

Suddenly the sound disappeared and the silhouette of a grown man emerged from the milky morning fog, which lingered around him like the shadows of his past. The leaves danced around him as kneeled on the ground, in front of the stone, which held the names of many beloved people he lost long ago.

"It's been a while, hasn't it? Obito?" he whispered with a calm and soothing voice while laying a bucket of flowers down in front of the cold stone. White Carnations – those flowers suited his fallen friend the most.

"How are the others faring?"

His tired eyes watched as the delicate flowers were taken by the wind, however, he didn't try to chase after them. It didn't bother him; the ghost of a smile crept over his lips as his long fingers made contact with the carved name. Uchiha Obito.

"If you see my father, will you please tell him I forgave him? I really did, even though his sudden death gave me a hard time…"

* * *

><p>He was confused. Something just wasn't right about his father's behaviour and he knew it was connected to this mission his father returned from some days ago. But his father wouldn't tell him what was wrong with him… He huffed silently as he continued his stroll through Konohagakure. Uneasiness aroused inside of him, as he felt the villagers staring at him.<p>

"Hey, isn't that the White Fang's brat?"

'_What?'_ His heart beat increased. _'Did they just-? No, was probably just the wind.'_ He told himself as he tried to calm himself down.

"Yeah, he is. Poor little traitor's boy. Shame on the whole family!"

His eyes went wide. There it was again! No, it couldn't be his imagination! They called him _"Tratior's boy"_. Traitor… That's what they called his father. But his father wasn't a traitor. No, he simply wasn't! But… But could these accusations somehow be connected to his one remaining parent's strange behaviour? They couldn't, could they?

The people continued to glare at him, and suddenly he felt more uneasy than he did just a moment ago. He sped up until he was running home, escaping the villager's evil and accusing glares. Their mean whispers resounded in his ears.

'_Traitor's boy!' 'White Fang's Brat!'_

Panting, he reached the place he called home and slammed the door shut behind him. Shaking, he leaned against the wooden door frame, trying to catch his breath. Silence greeted him. Silence… He cracked an eye open. It was too quite. Something about this tranquillity just set him off… Slowly, he made his way to the living room. He couldn't hear a sound, but then silent cries and sobs reached his ears. Nervously, he followed the sounds to a room upstairs – his father's room. In one fluid motion, he pushed the door open and found his father curled up in a ball in a dark corner of his room. Sharply, he inhaled. He's never seen his father this broken; not even after…

"F-Father, what's wrong?" He stuttered, but he didn't receive an answer.

The sobs and the cries wouldn't stop and then the broken figure started hugging his knees. Something inside of him broke and he didn't know how he found the strength to do so, but he walked to his father and embraced him, trying to give him some comfort. What just happened to his beloved father – his idol – to turn him into something like this? A hot tear slipped down his cheeks. The huge body under him struggled and broke free from the little boy's embrace.

"Please… leave… leave me alone… Don't… look at me…" The silver haired managed to say between his sobs.

"But why, father?" Again his question was just answered by the pain filled sobs of the weeping shinobi.

"Can I do something for you?"

"Please… leave me alone…"

The gaze, which was fixed on his father's back, wandered to the floor beneath his feet. His sad eyes searched for the window, hoping to find something to cheer him up. But the sunlight he saw couldn't lift his spirit.

- 1 week later -

Now he knew what was going on; why his small world was slowly falling apart. Minato-san an old friend of the family told him the whole story. So his father was a disgrace in the eyes of the villagers, because he saved his comrades…

But why disgraced? Sure, the ninja rules speak against his father's actions, but shouldn't Hi no Kuni be happy to have more of their dogs in their clutches?

Grey clouds covered the afternoon sky. Looked like a storm…

As fast as he could he continued his way home, avoiding every human being in the progress. The people of the village treated him cruel since the incident. The kids of his age were the cruellest. If any of the crossed his path, they'd shout at him or worse… Hit him, throw stones at him, shove him or curse his last name: Hatake!

"Hey, guys, look who's over there!"

Oh, no… speaking of the devils… He sped up, but one of the elder kids blocked his way as the others surrounded him.

"Hey, White Fang's brat. Taking a walk alone?"

"…"

"Answer us! Damn it!" One of them shouted as he shoved him.

'_Smash!'_ He hit the ground.

"Now… ANSWER US!" The eldest kicked him with his foot. Over and over and over again.

The pain that erupted from his chest wasn't unbearable; he could endure it and clenched his teeth together as he tried not to speak.

"So weak." They sneered. "And he calls himself a Chunin?"

"Guess he attained this rank 'cause of his treacherous father!" Another kick, but those words set something off inside the small frame of the silver haired boy.

"That's not true." The victim whispered.

"So patethic!"

"That's not true!" He screamed as he shot a death glare at them.

The bullies suddenly froze under his heavy gaze. As if nothing had happened, the small boy stood up and pushed himself past the morons that were picking on him. His eyes were red and welling up with tears, but he wouldn't allow himself to cry. Not here; not in front of them he told himself as he continued his way home.

Minato-san kept asking him why he let himself be humiliated… The truth was he didn't want to hurt his offenders. But he also feared that they would hurt him more as soon as he starts struggling.

"Father, I'm back." The White Fang's protégé whispered to an empty room, knowing his father wouldn't hear him.

That man had locked himself up in his room, which worried the boy even more. All measures to get his father to talk to him failed. Lately, he didn't even touch the food he left in front of his room. It bothered him, worried him, nearly drove him insane; but today, there was also something else that made him uneasy… And this feeling spread inside of him.

Silently, he ascended the stairs to his father's chambers. There was something strange in the air that made his heart race. _Fear._

It did not only threat to take over his body - it possessed him. His shaking and sweating hand reached for the door in front of him. Soon he should be enlightened. He opened the door.

'_Whum.'_

And he couldn't help himself as to stare blankly as few drops of a red liquid sprinkled his cheeks. Blood.

'_Wham.'_

The mighty figure that used to give him piggy back rides or to carry him on his shoulders hit the floor. Lifeless and teary eyes staring at the last Hatake.

The body of the boy trembled. It was too much for him to take… If it weren't for those kids, his father would be… He dropped on his knees, his eyes never leaving the dead body in front of him. Slowly, the blood found it's way to the silver haired, it soaked his knees and feet.

'_Boom.'_

Shaking, he slammed his fist on the floor. His heart ached, hurt so much that he believed for an instance that it really bled.

"Why… father?" His painful whisper filled the empty space before he passed out.

_'Drip. Drip'_

The rain started falling, now that the hero fell…

~+ ° +~

"Kakashi! Wake up!" A faint voice called for him as someone shook his shoulders gently.

With a silent groan he opened his blood shot eyes and saw Minato's dark blue eyes watching him concerned.

"Are you alright?"

"…"

He looked around carefully, hoping it was just a nightmare, but his heart sank as he saw the corpse lying beside him.

"Kakashi… You needn't answer this, but… But what exactly happened here?"

"He" He swallowed, but his sad gaze never left the dead body of his father. "He broke a promise… Not only the rules…"

Slowly, he stood up and stared down at the corpse at his feet, which laid in a pool of blood. Blood, which the silver haired boy was also stained with. The blond's gaze never left him and his silent spectator jumped slightly as he heard the faint whisper.

"Can you help me bury him?"

Sad blue eyes trailed to the dead body as he whispered "Ok." in agreement.

~+ ° +~

Hours later the job was done. Covered in dirt they stood in front of the fresh grave, mourning silently. But nothing was meant to last for ever…

"You lied… You promised you won't leave me…"

Surprised and shocked by the younger's voice, the future Hokage glanced at him only to be met by cold eyes. So cold, as if every emotion has vanished from them… as if he was dead inside…

"You know…" He said as he put his hand gently on the small boy's shoulder squeezing it lightly, trying to give him at least a little bit comfort. "Let's go eat something. You really must be hungry by now."

Minato knew the eight year old boy in front of him hasn't eaten properly, since his father acted up. He was worried that the boy would reject his offer, but as he saw the nod he gave him a smile spread across his lips.

The two of them sat in silence at the ramen bar, one of them enjoying his meal while the other just stared at his steaming soup.

"You know… It's getting cold, if you won't eat it." He told him with a frown on his lips. "There's no need to hide your face from me… I've seen it countless times before."

He still received no answer. People were passing by. Most of them shot odd glares at the silver haired, which made him flinch. The boy decided to stop staring at the soup in front of him, yanked his mask down and slurped the ramen down.

"H-Hey Kakashi, not that fast or you'll-!"

"Thanks for your treat, Minato-san… But I gotta go now."

He gave the flustered eighteen year old a small smile as he put the bowl back on the counter. But inside he was dead.

* * *

><p>And time flew by. The grown up silver haired sat beside the memorial leaning his head against the cold stone. His eyes stared into space, not looking at anything. His calm voice speaking to the air around him.<p>

"You know… After your death I was able to open my heart again. And now, now I have a team that I really treasure."

Thinking of them, his eyes saddened.

"Sometimes it's painful watching them… There are similar to us…"

He pushed himself back up to his feet and gave the stone a last glance. An hour or two have already past, since he came here.

"Speaking of them… I should go now. Guess they're furious about my lateness by now." He Smiled at that thought and turned his back to the stone waving with the back of his hand.

A faint whisper echoed through the air as the grown boy found his way back to the road of life.

_"See ya tomorrow. See ya… Kakashi…"_

END


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